Does
this symphony sound familiar?
You
are too!
Am
not!!
You
are TOO!
AM
NOT!
YOU
ARE ALSO!!
AM
NOT!!
Familiar?
It's how kids argue. I'm sure you've tried this mode of arguing decades back.
Children,
when pointed out that they are "xxx", tend to retaliate that their
accuser is also "xxx" The accuser then balks, because people hate
having their arguments thrown back at them. Its human nature and this
demonstrates the Reflexivity Principle of Argumentation.
By
applying a belief statement back to the person asserting it, we test the
applicability of that belief within an equitable context. By equitable context,
I mean that what's good for the Gander should also be good for the Goose. This
determines the universality of the statement. If, by throwing an argument back
to its issuer, we observe a resistance, then this could indicate presence
double standards. This surely makes the argument IRRATIONAL, and NON-UNIVERSAL.
Let's
see this in play.
She
says, “You’re always with your officemates. Obviously you don't like me
anymore"
To
counter this with Reflexivity, you apply her argument back to her by saying,
"My dear, you spend at least 3 hours a day with your friends after work.
Does this imply that you love me less now as well?"
She
will then see the irrationality of her argument.
Let's
try another.
Mark
says, "The Bush Administration wastes so much time bickering, debating and
arguing. Obviously this country is going nowhere. Such a waste of time!"
So
you come to the good ole US of A's defense by saying, "I see.... so shall
I assume that your business will never prosper either? Your Board spends a lot
of time deliberating and debating. I observed that you, as Chairman, even seem
to enjoy this and you goad them on! Now despite all that bickering, your
company grows 10% per annum. Mark, I'm sure you're already aware of the value
of debate. Healthy deliberation illuminates multiple avenues of action. That's
what your Board does. That's what the Bush administration accomplishes."
Okay,
let's put this to practice. Someone brave, come to the front; volunteer 10
arguments.
Then
let's have someone else come up with ten counter arguments using this
principle.
Have
fun!
Developing
an attitude of Gratitude
What
does Gratitude really mean? Most of us are thankful for the blessings we have
in our lives. We have families we love; jobs that help us provide the
necessities of daily living, good health, friends to laugh and play with,
freedom and Free Will to live our lives the way we want to.
Most
of us are very grateful for these blessings, but how often do we stop to focus
and reflect on that? Probably not as often as we could why is Gratitude even
important? Sure, we're thankful for what we have, but why should we have to
dwell on it?
There
is a very good reason! Have you ever given someone a gift, and when they open
it they react with very little enthusiasm? They say flatly, "Oh yeah,
thanks, I've wanted one of those." Their words say "thank you"
but their heart says, "big deal". You can feel that, can't you? Does
it inspire you to want to give them another gift? Probably not. On the other
hand, if you give someone a gift and they exclaim, "Oh THANK YOU, I just
love it!” doesn't that lift your heart? You feel appreciated, and happy that
you made them feel appreciated.
The
one Universal Law that has had the most profound effect in my life is, Like
Attracts Like. When we are truly grateful for the blessings in our lives, and
we take time to reflect on them, we automatically begin to draw more blessings
to ourselves. Why? Because we create what we concentrated on.
True
gratitude isn't the act of mechanically listing the blessings in our lives
every night before we go to sleep. Gratitude is an Attitude. It's a mindset of
thankfulness and joy for the wonderful blessings in our lives. Our hearts and
minds are lifted in joy when we reflect on the beauty and love surrounding us.
It's a heartfelt acknowledgement that our lives would not be as happy as they
are now if we didn't have those blessings.
Okay,
so maybe not everything in our lives is perfect right now. Gratitude can be
hard to foster when we are also experiencing struggle at the same time. Maybe
we've just lost a job, or a loved one. Maybe we have difficult financial
struggles. Maybe we are mired in depression and sadness. It's hard to feel
grateful during moments like that.
That's
where Faith comes in. Gratitude and Faith go hand in hand. Gratitude is
reflecting on and being thankful for the blessings we do have, while Faith
affirms that more are on the way. Maybe not everything in our lives is the way
we want it to be, but some things are wonderful, and the things that aren't so
wonderful will get better in time. Another job is just around the corner. Peace
and healing will come to us as we go through the grieving process for our loved
one. Financial struggles come and go. Depression and sadness will lift (seeking
treatment may be necessary in some cases), and the sun will shine once again.
Believe this. Know it in your heart. Affirm it to the Universe, and it will be
so.
You
know what I'm grateful for? You. Everyone who are reading these words right
now. I'm deeply grateful that I'm given the opportunity to send even a tiny ray
of sunshine into your lives each week. The letters I get back from you telling
me that I've made a difference in your life, no matter how small, fill my heart
to overflowing.
Be
thankful for the ways in which you touch the lives of others. Some of them you
may not even be aware of, and that's okay. Know that they do exist.
Take
time to reflect on the good things in your life, not just today, but every day.
Really let yourself feel the goodness and love surrounding you. Tell your loved
ones what they mean to you. Embrace them and be thankful for their presence in
your life. Focus on the Love, for it's all that really matters.
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